| 50% locked. |
[Jul. 2nd, 2014|03:02 pm] |
this journal is 50% locked.
more personal entries will be locked (:
please comment to be added.
if you don't have an account, well...
...make one just for viewing, i guess.
that's if, if you want to.
♥, gillian.
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| Surprise surprise. |
[Apr. 2nd, 2010|11:44 am] |
It surprises me how I never blog here anymore. But then again, I do a lot of things that surprise myself nowadays.
I miss my old life. It's not surprising now that with a sudden change in environment, I have a sudden change in friends. It's not that I hate my new class or anything - on the contrary, I find myself liking some of them. It's just the rest that get on my nerves ugh and I hate it when that happens because I'm forcing myself to like them simply because I'll be spending the next two years with them. I miss my old church life where I used to go out with Remix every single week. I miss going out to watch movies with them, eating lunch at Astons, chionging for Os together, study sessions after DARE service together, sitting in service together, having CG together at Jeryn's house, having fun swimming, BBQing, preparing for the Sorry Sorry dance at EJ and all the camps that we've been through together. I miss all the funny jokes we shared, I miss all those inside jokes, I miss going home together, I miss that tangible feeling of knowing I'm loved and belonged whenever I hang out with them. I miss being myself around people because around them, I can be truly who I want to be. I miss them so bloody much and I'm so scared that I'm losing them already. I'm already scared that I'm losing my best friends because I don't talk to them at all anymore. I only see them during the weekends and that only happens on Sundays because I can't go for Arrow anymore 'cos I have tuition. I don't talk to Jeryn anymore because our schedules clash, I don't talk to Christina anymore because we rarely see each other and we're so settled into school that we somehow just don't click anymore.
That scares me. Not being able to click with who I used to feel most belonged to anymore.
I miss the comfort of my old life. In school now somehow, I can't act as who I really am because there's this barrier in front of me that's scared to be let down. I don't dare let down my barriers because of what? Impressions? I don't know. But I don't like who I'm becoming and I miss my old life. I miss my friends freaking a lot. |
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| Goodbye to you. |
[Sep. 11th, 2009|11:15 am] |
| [ | feeling like |
| |  blah | ] |
Can't believe that I didn't blog about yesterday!
Actually after thinking it over, there's nothing much to blog about.. Just that I had quite an enjoyable time cycling from Macs to Changi Village, and back. I was told it was over 20km back and fro, but it felt like it was 30km+ .___. Was just so tired when we went to return our bikes haha!
The enjoyable part started only when someone left. HAHA. He annoys me. Just can't keep his mouth shut .___. We bought dinner, went by the beach and started fellowshipping. Some of us went down to the beach (: Then we all went off to clean up, then made our way to Swee Min's grandmother's wake.. I guess it was a bonding opportunity for everything lor. It was just so nice, sitting there and talking to everyone..
Mum came to pick me up, came home, bathed, slept.
Today's agenda:
1. Swimming with Christina till around 2pm or 3pm?
2. Studying like shit until night time.
a. E Maths.
b. Physics.
Asdfghjkl. Someone please tell me that they haven't been touching their books for the past week? 'Cos I haven't. (Now comes the good part: I FINALLY REMEMBERED MY DREAM! It was an awesome dream. I would smack myself if I didn't remember what it was about. Nino! <3) |
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| Ichthyophobia. |
[Sep. 6th, 2009|10:06 pm] |
| [ | feeling like |
| |  amused | ] |
Ichthyophobia. (Fear of fish)
I guess that's what I have gosh!
Lately I've been a little scared of eating fish slices. For e.g, in fish porridge, steamboat, etc etc. Idk why! Once I put the fish slice in my mouth, it just terrifies me because everything seems to feel like a fish bone. I think I swallowed a fish bone today during dinner (we had steamboat) so that elevated my fear of fish. Eating fish, to be precise. I have no problem with those little fishies. I just have a problem when they go down my throat... But apparently, that still falls under ichthyophobia so idk. I mean, I'm fine with fried fish (I think.. Maybe..) but I'm totally not okay with sliced fish that's cooked via boiling. Especially if it's a thick slice and especially if it's white fish meat. I don't knooooow it just freaks me out because I have had some experiences with swallowing fish bones... And it totally freaks me out. Shit.
Anyways on the good side, I've learnt how to play Niji on the piano. Intro, verse, 2nd verse. Hahaha haven't got to chorus yet though. Can't wait!! :D :D :D Can't stop playing it on the keyboard heeheehee.
Am currently in my brother's room, using his Macbook cable 'cos mine's frayed. Marshall (my godbrother) and him are sleeping on the same bed. Remind me to wake them up at 11pm, eh okay? |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 3rd, 2009|08:45 pm] |
| [ | feeling like |
| |  good | ] |
Finally got my LG KF350, gosh I'm so satisfied!
Natasha and Juliette accompanied me to Parkway to get my phone (I felt quite loser-ish to go alone) so hahaha, it was really fun catching up with Juliette, since Natasha left early.. Missed those 204 times. Bumped into a whole lot of people at Parkway! Louisa, Glenda, Vanessa, Germaine, Sue Yuan, Charmaine, Afiqah, Melissa, Megan.. Hahahaha so many people! I can't remember who else I saw, but it was so many more ppl omgxz. V fun v fun.
English was okay.
When you're near me, I feel like I just found me
In the traces of the boy girl from yesterday
But in a world that is so black and white
I will take the steps to change my life
And I won't be coming back to here again
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| Everything. |
[Sep. 1st, 2009|09:03 pm] |
| [ | feeling like |
| | amused | ] |
Sugoi desu! Omgxz wow. Hahahah.
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 29th, 2009|06:17 pm] |
I'm starting to think that this may not be as stressed out as I thought.. For example, I don't need to go to a Uni to work. I can do something else, like be a chef (ha) or be a Jap-Eng translator! That is, if I work hard enough after my Os. I can be a housewife and indulge in my hobbies, I can be everything else that doesn't need a degree. HAHA.
But ah well, having a degree doesn't hurt, would it? (: |
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| Zutto hanasanai yo. |
[Aug. 28th, 2009|03:23 pm] |
| [ | feeling like |
| |  exanimate | ] |
I'm the only one at home now. Brother's still at army, Otousan's working the night shift tonight and my dearest Okaasan is in Guiling, China on a company vacation trip! I miss my okaasan very much now ):
I should start studying now but I'm feeling quite tired.
HAHA OHNO on the Arashi mood theme!
ずっと離さないよ ♥
Picture you're the queen of everything,
As far as the eye can see.
Under your command,
I will be your guardian,
When all is crumbling,
Steady your hands. |
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